gross

yno when you’re 11 and you want to be “different” because EVERYBODY is called “emily” and you change your bebo name to “emalie” and it sort of just sticks???? well now every time I spell my name as “emily” people say it’s wrong and it doesn’t look correct and to change it back and whenever I write it as “emalie” I am just being a lame for spelling it different. it’s sort of having your identity stolen because I’m neither??? I’m much more comfortable with the “emalie” spelling because I’ve had it that way for so long but it actually makes me really upset being denied my name and feeling uncertain as a person 

I wish people would not discuss my life because it is evidently not much to do with anyone else except those involved!!!!!!! I feel 13 when I was the height of gossip however in this case i haven’t really done much wrong i just don’t want to be the centre of attention anymore i want to return to my state of being unnoticed and not cared about by anyone or anything :( i just want to remain in love with the boy who doesn’t even look at me that is not complicated why are boys so complicated 

my general studies exam went worse than expected i couldn’t even do the simple maths and i do a level maths too sigh sigh SIGH i’m also really really tired and just want to sleep but need to revise. i can’t wait until this week is over and i can just accept the fact that i have most definitely failed the majority of my AS year.

i have a general studies exam in the morning i haven’t revised because i don’t really know what to revise failure is comin my way

last night was really fun and i won £20 on betting denmark will win in the eurovision which i spent on maccie d’s as a hangover cure!!! and then i got really really really really really drunk and ruined my life (my best friend kissed me a lot who also has a girlfriend and now i am officially the worst person in the world as confirmed by everyone) and i just feel awful and stupid and sad and sick and he is such an idiot why did he tell me he likes me!!! boys are so dumb i dont know how to cope with them which is why i kiss them back (i am awful awful awful) also i destroyed all my new clothes by spilling cherry vodka everywhere and throwing up on my shoes kiss kiss